Libido Support
Birth control to increase sex drive and not gain weight?
I am a health 25 year old girl. I am 5'2", 130lbs and trying to lose about 10-15lbs. I took birth control pills about 5 years ago because my boyfriend told me they made me "moody" although I never noticed. I never remembered any problems with the pill at all. Now, 5 years later and off the pill since, I have gained a little weight, and my sex drive is ZERO! It is really becoming a problem in my relationship. I am wondering if getting on birth control again would give be the hormone boost I need to restore my libido, but I DO NOT want to gain weight since I'm really working on losing some. Any experiences and advice, let me know. I'm making an appointment with a new gyno but it seems they just sell you whatever drug they are supporting at that moment, not necessarily what would really work for me.
Doctors and BC hawkers tend to say that birth control will not affect your libido at all. From personal experience and from other friends I've talked to, though, I must share with you that most women I've known (including myself) actually feel less sex drive while *on* BC. So you might just make your situation worse.
As soon as I quit using hormonal birth control, I noticed an enormous increase in my sex drive, and (just like you), my husband commented that I was more like my "old self." He had thought that I had just been more stressed at the time due to all the work I was doing, but it seems pretty clear, looking back, that the 2 years I was on BC, I felt a lot more anxious overall than I do now. Anxiety definitely hacks away at your sex drive, so if your boyfriend thought of you as "moody" then, there's a fair chance that you will experience emotional disturbances again, decreasing the odds that you'll be getting more sack-time.
I wonder whether, based on the frequency you mention it in your question, maybe the real problem is that you are feeling sensitive about your body? When we as women feel a little "chunkier" than usual, we definitely don't experience as many self-stimulating thoughts about how hot and attractive we feel. Is it possible that your lack of desire is at least partially based on your feelings about the added weight?
It could also be helpful to reinvigorate your relationship and solidify your connection to your partner. In long relationships, it takes lots of "gardening," if you will, in order to have a growing, healthy relationship after a few years, once the blooms have died off and left "boring plants" behind. Are there any problems lurking between you that is cutting off your attraction to him? Are you investing time and energy into loving him on purpose? Is he doing the same? Relationships (including sex lives) don't stay healthy on their own. They shrivel up and die on their own, unless you focus on it. Women in particular often have a great deal of difficulty feeling sexual unless their emotions are involved in their sex lives. If you don't feel emotionally satisfied, you won't be that interested in sex either.
It is entirely possible that you could be facing hormonal problems of some sort that can be helped by the gyno. However, my life experience is that self-concept and opinion of one's body combined with your relationship's emotional status are far more likely to contribute to libido drops.
Hope this helps!
